New Federal ID System Set to Tag Every Person in U.S.

Do you like dealing with government employees? Do you trust bureaucrats to treat you fairly, and to take your life situation into account when making heavy decisions about your life? Do you like having your name and identity slathered in numbers and codes which serve as your name when these fat robotic drones have their ways with you?

Well, you’re in luck! That’s because the federal government has big plans on how they intend to manage your identification. That’s right. Things are about to get a whole lot more complicated any time you want to fly in or out of the country, do any danged thing with your driver’s license, or buy fruit from some guy on the side of the road.

The federal government is rolling out a new identification card system that is just sure to twist the fidgets off of anyone who squeals with delight at the thought of being treated with total indifference, having weird taxes applied to them, or having to beg the government for permission to move around the country. Whee!

A brand new federal ID system is going to be required of every man, woman, and eagle living in the United States. And you can bet your grandma’s jowls that they are going to have one of those GPS trackable chips in them that sends a notice to God knows who every time you pass through a wireless access point.

Here’s Lisa Haven with the skinny on the new human tagging system.