Europe Teaching Christianity in Schools to Combat Islamic Terrorism

After coming to the realization that second-generation Muslim immigrants are predisposed to committing horrific terrorist attacks on non-Muslims (especially women and children), the Danish government has come upon a novel solution: Why not try to assimilate the immigrants to Danish culture? Crazy, right?

Apparently the Danes have reached a conclusion that their soil is not magical and that just because a Muslim sets foot in Denmark and is given citizenship papers, it does not automatically transform them into a Dane with appreciation for Western civilization, democracy, and the moral restraint to not punch a woman in the face and call her a whore for wearing an ankle-revealing dress.

If only Congress would realize this about our non-magical soil in America! We know this sounds totally insane, but other nations actually do have these kooky ideas about immigration. Don’t believe us? Fly to Tokyo tomorrow and declare yourself to be Japanese. We’ll wait for you to report back with results!

Meanwhile, the Danish government will now require children in Muslim ghettos to undergo 25 hours of coursework on the meanings of Easter and Christmas, Christian morals, language skills and, presumably, the need to not murder members of your host community based on your parents’ barbaric 8th-century values. (Perhaps they should teach the Muslims about Denmark’s Viking history as well, just to let it sink in that they are the minority and the Danes will only be pushed so far before bringing back the “blood eagle.” Just saying.)

Best of all, there’s an immediate punishment that will be meted out if any Muslim parents don’t enroll their kids in the Danish Christianity classes. Check out the video below to learn what it is!